Say who is this typing man?

I don't even know, people. They let anyone write on the internet nowadays.

Aug 9, 2012

Ode to Missing Camera Charger - Balcony scene (Proof that my English Major ain't been in vain for nothin')

I originally wrote this in a Facebook note on Sept 1, 2011 in a fit of pique while trying to find my video camera charger. It's been a while since I updated the blog, and I found the note again while trolling my own profile (like you do), so I thought I'd share with the world, 'cause honestly it still tickles me. Of course, what's ironic is that this isn't an ode.

O Camera Charger, Camera Charger, wherefore art thou Camera Charger?
Deny thy maker and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but double in function,
And I’ll no longer buy batteries.

Camera Charger:
[Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I appear at this?

‘Tis but thy monofunctionality that is my enemy:
Thou art thyself, though not a DC charger.
What’s DC? It is nor plug nor cable,
Nor port nor adaptor, nor any other part
Belonging to a charger. O be some other charger!
What’s in a charger? That which we call a USB charger
By any other word would work with my laptop;
So Camera Charger would, were he not Camera Charger call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Camera Charger, doff thy DC port,
And for thy DC port, which is a useless addition to a camera that has a USB connector already,
Take all my camera.