What i should have said

Dear Guest,

I appreciate the fact that you wanna buy a cup of coffee and enjoy it while sitting in the coffee house on a Sunday afternoon. It's a gorgeous day, and obviously a lot of other people have had the same idea. However, being rude to me because I don't have the authority to request people who have paid for a drink to leave just because they are taking up all the seats is inappropriate. I know that it looks as if they are poor college students just taking advantage of our free wifi, but the guests you are disparaging (not nearly as quietly as you think) have in fact bought food (around 6 dollars) and drinks (2 bucks give or take) and will most likely get something else before they leave; and are sitting with people they may or may not know in accordance to our signs requesting wifi users to share space. You on the other hand are planning on buying 2 small coffees (for a grand total of 3.60) and then hanging out two to a table, basically doing the exact same thing you are so peeved at me about, but without an excuse of internet. Frankly, at the moment they are worth more to us than you. There are tables available outside, and if you don't want to sit there (on this, as before mentioned, beautiful day), then that is not my problem. I'm sorry you don't want to buy a coffee from us anymore, but if a lack of chairs really influences your decision to buy it that much, you must not have wanted it.

And no, the manager does not come in on Sundays. He's here every other day of the week, and wants to spend the weekend with his family. I make minimum wage, and the fact is every guest with an attitude problem picks me to bitch at 'cause i'm a chick, and i'm tired of it. 2 dollars in tips is not enough for me to take your shit.

Have a nice day, and sorry we couldn't accommodate you today.

Sincerely,
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