What i should have said

Dear Guest,

I appreciate the fact that you wanna buy a cup of coffee and enjoy it while sitting in the coffee house on a Sunday afternoon. It's a gorgeous day, and obviously a lot of other people have had the same idea. However, being rude to me because I don't have the authority to request people who have paid for a drink to leave just because they are taking up all the seats is inappropriate. I know that it looks as if they are poor college students just taking advantage of our free wifi, but the guests you are disparaging (not nearly as quietly as you think) have in fact bought food (around 6 dollars) and drinks (2 bucks give or take) and will most likely get something else before they leave; and are sitting with people they may or may not know in accordance to our signs requesting wifi users to share space. You on the other hand are planning on buying 2 small coffees (for a grand total of 3.60) and then hanging out two to a table, basically doing the exact same thing you are so peeved at me about, but without an excuse of internet. Frankly, at the moment they are worth more to us than you. There are tables available outside, and if you don't want to sit there (on this, as before mentioned, beautiful day), then that is not my problem. I'm sorry you don't want to buy a coffee from us anymore, but if a lack of chairs really influences your decision to buy it that much, you must not have wanted it.

And no, the manager does not come in on Sundays. He's here every other day of the week, and wants to spend the weekend with his family. I make minimum wage, and the fact is every guest with an attitude problem picks me to bitch at 'cause i'm a chick, and i'm tired of it. 2 dollars in tips is not enough for me to take your shit.

Have a nice day, and sorry we couldn't accommodate you today.

Sincerely,
Parenthetical

An interaction where 2 worlds collide

This happened to me this last Sunday at the Coffee Shop:

Guest walks in, with some very specific ideas of what he wants (tea is apparently at optimal brewing temperature at 160 degrees Fahrenheit, which explains why a chai tea abomination tastes so darn good), so I am (as always) cheerful and helpful as i can be. This guy is one of those guests that can make you feel incompetent just by having to remind you to get a glass of water (which doesn't show up on the ticket as it is free and is frequently a pain in my butt- if you aren't paying for it, why get bent out of shape over reminding me about it?) - not maliciously, mind you, he's just so dang nice about it.so, i handle his order (green tea, strawberry cake, and large latte which i make with 2 separate 2 shot pulls for the requisite 3 as he strikes me as the type to be able to taste how much longer the 3 shot head takes to make the freaking espresso (oh, and water)) and bring it out to him. Later, he orders another, more froufy drink for his daughter, then chats with me as i'm making it. We actually kind of encourage this, tho our counters were ordered too high so it's like being in a freakin' fortress when you are under 6 feet (Long John doesn't have to worry about this). Anyway, while waiting in line to order his drinks, one of our other, off duty baristas was at the counter ordering for herself, and had asked me about my internship. Guest starts making small talk, asking about what kind of interning i was doing (mistakenly believing i was interning at Coffee Shop. man, that'd suck). I explained i interned at Magazine, and he verifies that i am, in fact, an English major, about to graduate no less.

Guest starts relating this story of his son, who went  to a college he hated as an English major, because the college was renowned for making contacts. Son of Guest lands an internship for a magazine in freaking Paris, then comes back and lands a job as an editor at Penguin Books (one of my many hopeful future employments). I am fascinated and try to tell guest that that is my dream job, but he talks over me to elaborate on his son's (perfect) job and how making connections is how he got there.

I try to introduce myself. Guest talks over me, giving me advice to make connections.

I try to introduce myself again, Guest wishes me luck and walks out the door, all without letting me know his name.

Ironically frustrating.

Note to self

need to stop talking out loud when writing/typing.

Sound like Doogie Howser. not enough synthesizer in personal theme music.

Lotta Stuff Going On

I've been asked (well, actually, i've been told, more or less, by the director of the honors program) to present my thesis at two separate expos towards the end of April. the actual expo dates are fine for me, i should be done with everything but the defense and the crying at that point. My problem is that the abstracts/applications are due in at the end of March. yeah. this month. the month wherein the bulk of my writing is occuring. i've got section 1 and 2 to finish before next wednesday, as well as a magazine article to write and edit, and another article to research for the shared byline. Plus, you know, work and junk.

On the other hand, i have spring break coming up, which is a nice chunk of time where all i need to worry about is the thesis and work: no internship, no classes, and some theoretical free time. And i've been told that it'd be a good idea to get practice presenting my paper, and there's the possibility for cash prizes at one of the expos.

On the other hand (man i feel like tevye), this is my LAST SPRING BREAK. i've never gone out and done crazy college stuff over spring break, and i won't ever get another chance (unless i go into teaching; a definite "hell no" there) to do an epic road trip of movie proportions.

meh. what will be will be. que sera and all that jazz

First interview high! WOO!

So Landscaper Dude totally called me back right before choir, but i handled it. I set up a phone meeting for when i'd get back into the office, and kept to it.

It was odd giving a phone interview. i've done radio interviews before of tv celebrities for Macabre Mansion but never had to interview someone over a phone, and for an article rather than for the interview itself. not to mention, the radio interviews are by their very nature recorded, versus my desperate listening and scribbling being our only material.

Overall, i think it went well. i had some incredible shatner moments with the pausing and the verbal stalling and the stuttering, but also managed to get everything i needed. Landscaper guy was fantastically nice and understanding, and i got a total performance high out of the whole deal. woo!

Article assignation

okay, so this has nothing to do with an assignation. but it sounded cool.

Just got an article punted to me by Boss Lady - she wants to make sure i get a byline in my time at Magazine. Ironically, i then got hit up by Other Magazine Boss Lady to help her out with her spotlight feature for Other Magazine, so i'm going to get a shared byline there as well.

The article will be a before/after deal about this pool out in Suburbia that has been pretty radically awesome-ified. To start off with, i called the landscaper, terrified that i'd screw up a phone interview (as previously noted, i suck at phone conversations). I did all this pre-call stuff, making sure i understood what had changed, figuring out what i'd need to know, writing little reminders of what to check (name spelling, comp list address- the comp list being the Mailing List from Hell that apparently is done every issue), getting the resource info from the landscaper's website, and generally psyching myself up.

of course, then the call went to voice mail and i freaked out. I managed to get my message across (i hope) and left my cell number, but now i'm worried he'll call back either during my one class of the day (yay choir!) or sometime tomorrow, when i won't be interning and will in fact be doing that whole "graduating" academic thing.

so yay for worry.